I watched part of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday a while ago, think it was last year. She was talking to Dr. Brene Brown about her research on vulnerability and the books that she has written, new newest one Dare to Lead, a good read by the way.
One of the things that she said was that you can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability. To me, courage is vulnerability and vulnerability is courage.
I have found that when you show vulnerability, people responded with openness and empathy. They resonate with you, and I love that word resonate, to me it means to vibrate together along the same wavelength. We have been taught that to be vulnerable is weak, not strong, so, we compensate with a strong exterior, sometimes a forceful, intimidating shell. That is what we present to the world, and that is our impact that shuts others down so they show you their strong exterior shell.
When you have two hard, strong, forceful, sometimes intimidating shells standing in their positions, there will be conflict. So, what do you do?
Well, I have found that when I soften my approach and don’t present a forceful presence, they are more likely to respond to me and we are able to get into dialogue. That is the goal….get into dialogue with each other so that you can share our stories and find commonality. The goal is to understand, not to be right, so that you can collaborate to problem solve.
From there, we can change the world! Go ahead, try the softer approach and let your vulnerability show. Be a true leader by showing others how to do it.
Hazel